


as if we never changed

by soulofme



Series: we’re living in the moment [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Past Relationship(s), Talking Shit Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-22 08:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13163010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofme/pseuds/soulofme
Summary: i didn't stand in your way. (i only want you to be happy.)





	as if we never changed

Eren gazes around the Starbucks they're in with mild interest before taking a slow, careful sip of his overpriced coffee. Black. No sugar. Fucking disgusting, as usual.

Levi taps a finger against the laminated tabletop, listening as a group of girls laugh loudly at something on a phone. A funny video. Maybe a meme. Levi doesn't know. He doesn't particularly care, either.

"Thanks for meeting me here," Eren says. Genuine. No surprise there.

"Yeah."

Eren sucks in a breath and sets down his cup gently. He folds his hands onto the table. All business, Levi remarks to himself idly. He leans back into his seat and fixes Eren with a cool look.

"You ever think about what happened to us?" Eren asks. Lowers his voice. Bites at his lip.

"No."

It's a lie. It's a goddamn lie and they both know it. But it makes Eren falter. Makes him unfold his hands and sit up straighter, as if he expected everything to be sunshine and rainbows but got storm clouds and torrential rain instead.

"I don't think it was ever about you, actually," Eren says, soft, and Levi narrows his eyes.

"Why?" he says, because that doesn't fucking  _make sense_.

Of course it had been about him. Levi was going off to college and Eren was stuck in their shitty little town, running his mother's shop. He had to make a career out of sewing fake pearls onto women's bras and lace onto just about everything. Not what Eren wanted or even planned to do, but his mother needed the help. Shit got worse after Eren's father left, but no one liked to talk about Grisha Jaeger.

"I heard you dropped out," Eren says instead. Deflecting, as always.

"Yeah, I did," Levi says. No use in denying it. 

"Hanji said she hasn't heard from you since then. She called me up the other day."

"Is that why you asked me to meet you here?" Levi asks, struggling to keep his voice calm and level. "You checking up on me, Jaeger?"

Eren flinches at that. He never liked being called Jaeger. Hates how it made him feel like a stranger to Levi, but he might as well be one now.

"No," Eren mumbles. "I asked you to come here because I think we need this."

“I don’t really care what you think,” Levi says, and suddenly he’s eighteen years old again, standing in his driveway, watching as Eren fucking Jaeger breaks his goddamn heart into a million pieces.

It leaves a sour taste on the back of his tongue, the memory of him screaming so loud his mother had slammed open the door to see what all the ruckus was. She’d started screaming once she noticed Eren, tear-streaked face and runny nose. She hadn’t been able to stop the fists from flying, but man did she try. Even now, Levi has no idea who threw the first punch.

“I was scared,” Eren admits. They both knew it, but nobody had said it until now. “I didn’t want to hold you back—”

“Hold me back?” Levi echoes, his voice rising slightly. It’s enough to have Eren shooting him a panicked look, as if he thinks Levi’s going to cause a scene. He’s not, for the record. He has more self respect than _that_. “I swear to God, you say the stupidest shit sometimes.”

Eren’s eyes flash angrily. He always hated being called stupid or anything close.

“I was seventeen,” Eren stresses, furrowing his eyebrows. “It felt like everything was changing and I didn’t want it to. I didn’t want _us_ to change.”

“What about me, Eren?” Levi asks instead, leaning forward just to see Eren shrink in on himself. “Did you ever think about what _I_ wanted?”

“You never talked to me,” Eren replies. His voice sounds horrifically small and Levi instantly feels like a dick. “I never knew what you wanted. I…I don’t think I ever will.”

Levi looks at him then, _really_ looks at him, and he hates how it makes him feel. His eyes are still too green, his hair is still too messy, and his smile is still too cocky. But there’s a certain familiarity to Eren’s features, something that feels terribly like home, and every inch of Levi aches for him.

“You,” he finally says, and feels more than sees the confused look Eren gives him.

“What?”

“I only wanted you,” he clarifies, just because he doesn’t want to keep Eren guessing anymore. “That was all that I needed.”

Eren looks like he doesn’t know how to take that. He gives Levi this helpless look, his eyes desperate and searching, and Levi tilts his head back to glare at the ceiling.

“What about now?” Eren says, finally gathering his thoughts. Levi lets the question sink in.

“A lot of shit has happened since then,” Levi replies, slowly standing to his feet. He shoves his chair in roughly and starts for the door, ignoring how Eren jumps up to his feet to follow him. “But I guess not everything can change.”


End file.
